the house bitch

I've lived in the same shared flat now since september and in shared houses for way longer then that. Over that period I have lived with a lot of people - this isn't really about any particular person, just flatmates in general. So if you are someone's flatmate, grab a paper and a pen and take notes of the big do's and don't's.

There are three types of flatmates:
1 - the really cool one you are friends with
2 - the one you're not really sure that is still alive because you never see them
3 - the one that drives you crazy and you want to kill them

to be honest, number 2 is probably the most ideal one. You just feel like you're living on your own.

You're probably wondering 'why not the number 1?' one. Well, sometimes you are tired from work and you just want to come home and chill but you don't want to be mean to your friend by not wanting to hang out with them. Which is not really a big deal. The main thing is because either you or they will move which is going to suck because that means you'll probably never see them again. OR the worst of it all, they'll turn out to be a brat. It's better if they were always a brat because then you would just know not to spend any time on them. If you become their friend, and then they're a brat it's just like a waste of time for both of you and then you've lost a friend as well. That sucks.

The thing is, I know what it is like living with other people and my tolerance is pretty high. I am not fussy about people not taking out the rubbish, leaving a couple of dirty plates around the sink area and even if they don't buy toilet paper or clean the house on their assigned dates. Because if these things would drive me crazy I'd be proper mental at this point.

What does drive me crazy how ever if I feel like I have to raise these people I live with because they are lacking common courtesy and it is affecting the way I live my life. Examples:

- not being nice to me when they have just moved into my house.
ok. I know you are paying astronomical figures on rent. So am I. I don't want any trouble, but as far as I am concerned you are currently a stranger in my house. Just introduce yourself. I'm not scary and it'll make everything a lot easier. A lot. For both of us.

- Don't change anything, specially not if it means you're taking things out of the common areas.
That is just extremely rude. You're not the only one here.

- Smoking in the house.
Because that is disgusting. Specially if I am either falling asleep or waking up and all I can feel is all this smoke. Then if I mention it don't be like, 'oh really, can you tell?' because that means you are just assuming I am really stupid. I don't like that. In particular if it is Marijuana. I don't really appreciate this second hand high forced upon me, thank you very much.

- Rubbish on the FLOOR!
If you can't bring yourself to walk those ten steps from our apartment on the ground floor to take out the rubbish, don't bother taking the bag out of the rubbish bin only to LEAVE IT ON THE FLOOR. Because that is disgusting and smells.

- Kitchen.
Please just make sure there's at least one knife and one plate clean at any one point. I don't really care about the rest.

- Laundry.
Don't leave your laundry in the washing machine for like 4 hours. I don't spend a lot of time at home so I would like to have access to the washing machine if it is not being used.

- Attitude.
I am a very polite person. I have worked with dealing with people for about 40 hours a week for a year and about another five years (not full time) before then. I am very good with people and I am very polite. I would never bother you unless something is seriously not right. It is very important to me to live in a house were everybody feels like it's their home. If I politely bring anything of the above up it's not because I get a power kick out of bossing you around and being the house bitch. Trust me.
This works the other way around as well. If I am seriously bothering you, just tell me. On the other hand don't complain to me about the house not being up to a 5 star hotel standard. If that is what you were after, guess what. Maybe you'd have to pick up the vacuum once in a blue moon, just quietly. And if there is something wrong with the flat, don't complain about it to me. Odds are I already know that given the fact that I happen to live here. Call the landlord.


Ok. That feels really good to get of my chest. It probably means I am the crazy house bitch.

If you are reading this and you are living with your parents, I can't really say I'm jealous to be honest but I will say this.
Appreciate what you have got. And be good to your mum (or mum-figure - look at me being all politically correct and everything!), she probably deserves it.

I'll give you a report on my new job ASAP.