Sorry, you are doing it wrong

Hello everyone.

I decided to write for you because it is Thursday, so you are probably more eager to get to the pub than do what ever you do to make rent. So I decided to provide you with a distraction until then. You are welcome.  

To all of you people that read my last blogpost, thank you. As you know, I am extremely interested in viral videos and viral marketing. A vital aspect is providing content online which has the possibility of going viral. I know. What a no brainer. Yet, not everyone seems to recognise this. I just read this super interesting article which talks about the big brands participating in this new way of reaching people. 

I have to say, from a personal experience - interesting and tailored marketing is the only way to reach me (well, I would like to think so at least). I may be a bit more internet savvy than other people, but I don't really think so. I spend my time on the internet doing three things. Social media, watching videos (mostly on YouTube) and researching what ever I am interested in at the time (can be university related, product related, learning how to braid my hair, what ever).

As I have a bit of an obsession with marketing, I notice what is trying to be aimed at me. And do you know what. I HATE when it works. I would like to think of myself as an individual who makes informed decisions. Which I know is bull****, as I am very impulsive and make decisions on the go (hey, at least I know).

A YouTuber I recently discovered is Grace Helbig. I do not know why I like her so much, because she does nothing or talks rubbish most of the time. Anyway, I am completely hooked. One of her videos she does a (ironic) make up tutorial where she goes: I don't know, I'm using this what ever drugstore foundation, I think it's called FitMe (from Maybelline).

     And guess what. Suddenly, the brand started to follow me. I have seen countless of the modest adverts on the side on my browser (not the annoying ones that take up your whole screen) and it is the promoted product in Boots (where I regularly go). Suddenly all I want is that stupid foundation. I went to Boots the other day to try it. It is exactly the same as all the other ones I use. The same. But I really want that one.

     This is the perfect example of successful product placement and targeting the right audience. And now I am giving you perfectly free advertisement. Well done Maybelline. You get a gold star. 

The opposite to this is known as interruption marketing. The examples are everywhere. Television adverts, the ads before YouTube videos, people stopping you on the streets and my personal favorite: the flight attendant at the exact moment you almost fall asleep telling you about some 2 for 1 on a luxurious cosmetic product. I don't know if this is just me living in London for too long, my generation or a personal thing, but I (do my best to) COMPLETELY ignore all of this. I know these techniques work to a certain extent (which is why they are used) but they are also really irritating. I have developed a system where I always mute the YouTube adverts, ignore everything the flight attendant ever says and I never, ever take flyers. I keep joking about they could hand out checks for £1000 and I would never know.

And by the way, I am extremely easy to trick into spending money I should not. Marketing people, if you are not succeeding - you are doing it wrong. Also, I am interested in marketing so I actually watch advertisements from time to time. If you have pi**ed me off so much I absolutely refuse to, again, you are doing it wrong.

I wrote a post earlier this year asking commercial organisations to stop lying to me. I think this specifically applies here in the UK, where the market is so dense, every single thing has been exploited in every way possible. If you show people interest, they expect you are lying to them in order to get money out of you. I know this, because I have worked in sales. The majority of people could not get out of talking to me faster. And I am super charming.

PS. I'm rushing to this meeting where more people like me talk about how awesome the internet is and how it is the only way to do stuff now, so I have to rush. I have almost finished the spell check but I know it is not quite there yet, I'll finish it tonight. Dear internet, please don't murder me.

Viral Madness & Bieber (because I love him)

Hey guys.

I'm back. You can celebrate now. Anyway, I have been thinking about making a comeback for quite some time now, but I have been thinking about my 'blogosphere' voice. Than I decided, f*** it, I'll just write about what ever I want to write about. Yes. That is what I decided. This one will even be a surprise, because I'm not complaining about anything. Yay. This is new.

Without further ado, the topic of this blog post: my dissertation. Please don't be discouraged, everyone finds it really interesting, I promise.

So, I am writing about how videos go viral on the internet machine and how/if/should the music industry integrate the phenomenon into its marketing strategies. This topic combines everything I am interested in: marketing, production, film, music, viral videos, YouTube, the internet, social media, etc. My proposal got approved (yay me!) and my supervisor recommended me to find some videos to use as a case study.

So this is the hard part! I know, I know - my life is soooo difficult, watching YouTube videos all day in my lovely Shoreditch flat. It actually really is. I have been struggling with this, so I would love if you guys could comment any suggestions or ideas in the comments (even if you don't know me, that's cool).

My inner struggle is whether I should take the big hitters we all cringe just thinking about, like Call Me Maybe, Rebecca Black's Friday or Gangnam Style (even Justin Bieber, he got discovered online and then he did the whole Girlfriend video competition thing, resulting in the spin-of internet celebrity 'Overly Attached Girlfriend'). However, I am already kind of cringing over this now, and this is before researching them a lot (I have a little bit). Also, the success of those particular ones is not quite determined yet. I know they are internationally all over the place right now, but is it lasting? In contrast to this, I could look at someone who had an international hit, like Cee Lo Green's Fuck You, and analyse what has happened once the peek has past.

Other suggestions, could be taking bands that may have not had as wide of a spread, but have made name of themselves due to their videos going viral. The best examples would be Walk of the Earth and OK Go (with only 140m and 40m views). The angle here is to take bands who are not as involved with the industry directly (not everyone can get Bieber to tweet about them) so to speak (I know it is not as simple as that, but I hope you follow) and see how they are using videos to promote the music.

I would even like to look into how the 'mainstream' is becoming more interested in what-ever-it-is catching the internet's attention, e.g. Ellen DeGeneres regularly invites the latest internet hit to her show.  

You may realise, I haven't decided anything. I would love anyone's input or ideas, I have read the internet back and forth and the ones I have mentioned seem to be the typical examples. Please don't judge me if I'm overlooking something extremely obvious (but tell me if I am!), because I'm just letting you into the very first steps of the project.

I am super interested in this project and love talking about it. Anyone who has interest, input or just something to say, please don't be afraid to contact me. I would love to hear from you here, on twitter, facebook, email, etc.

Oh by the way, I'm not embedding the videos, because it makes the site really slow. Plus, you people all know what I'm referring to. If you are really interested the titles link to the original content.

*Sidenote: I know how Of Monsters and Men's Little Talk has got 35m views and MTV Music Award Nomination for their video(ish), but I think that has got more to do with them being really famous, rather than the video making them famous, if that makes sense.

Entertainment for Grammer Nazis.

1) Has anyone ever wondered why:

Continues  - Continuously

Is this perhaps a rule I was supposed to learn at some stage? It is isn't it? It is definitely a rule I am supposed to know. Is it?

2) If you can spell simultaneously without looking it up, respect. I respect you now. A lot. 

English is maybe not grammatically the most complex one, but it sure has funny spelling. If you can come up with more, drop me a line. I am weirdly into this sort of thing. Probably why I haven't got any friends....

(btw, I am bound to do a spelling error in a post like this. If you can find it, I'll give you a prize). 

Can you please stop lying to me?

I am so tired of being treated like an idiot by advertisers, magazines and the media in general. There is about a hundred different types, how ever there are two that really stand out for me. 

Diets 

'Get a flat tummy in 5 weeks', 'Lose a stone in 2 weeks by using this weird trick' and the five hundred gzillion articles along those lines. No. No, no, no. This is not true. 

There is one way to get fit, losing weight or what ever it is that you are after, and it is eating less than you work out. That is it. That is the secret. Cake has a lot of calories and carrots have not so many calories. Try to eat fruit & veg. Go for a run. Replace sodas for water.

That is it. So if you are somewhere writing all of these articles, or advertising this. Please stop. 

There are two possible responses here. Some poor soul that actually believes you, that you are lying to. Which is mean and you should stop it. Or people that have more than half a braincell and do not want to be talked to like they are idiots.

Cash loans & lawyer services

This is a way bigger issue, that is extremely boring and requires a detailed interest in contract law. Basically anyone who advertises on TV how much they want to help you is lying to you. Cash loans or pay day loans or what ever they are called are potentially the worst thing you could possibly do. Ever. Those lawyers that want to help you get PPI or what ever, do so because you have to pay them a lot of money to do that for you. Speak to your bank and they will help you directly. Giving you back the money, they mis-sold to you, which is another example of people lying to you. (I am very much on purpose avoiding the whole IceSave and the bank crash and all of that, very much on purpose)

Here is a rule of thumb. If someone is talking to you, about your money, and it sounds pretty good, you are probably being lied to. 

The thing that really frightens me, is as annoying I find being talked to like a dummy, there must be not just this one, stupid someone that believes all of this, but an army of people who are buying in to this bu**shit. An army of people.

To be fair I am a big believer in the 'stupid tax'. That is if you are stupid, you will end up paying more on stupid stuff, because you are not thinking straight. I am guilty of paying the stupid tax on numerous occasions. Like buying into what ever some sales people try to sell me. I think to myself once I've spent a fortune on things I don't need, I did not need that. Now I have to pay for not thinking straight. I have paid the stupid tax, and you know what? I deserved to. 

Regardless of the stupid tax, which I think is very important. I do not think anyone should make their living, by relying on stupid people believing the LIES they tell. LIES that are told not only to the army of stupid people, but to society as a whole, every single day. That's the trick. The every, single day bit. Because if you hear or see something often enough, you will start believing it. True story. 

NO, IT IS NOT. No one wants to give you 50% interest on your £300 savings. They want you to pay £3 pounds a month for two years for providing you with 'this amazing web of lies they have created'. And if you are a big person, there is no trick or anything you can do to make you slim down while sitting in front of the TV all day, eating. Stop eating like a pig and go work out, if you want to lose weight. If you don't, then keep doing what you are doing.

Ok. I just needed it out there. More angry blog posts. That's what I do. Amen. Thank you for listening. If you want more angry blogposts, this guy hit the nail on the head about piracy. He was so spot on, I see no point in making any further comments about it.


****FIXED****
I can't believe I forgot this one. Because this one makes my blood boil.
Airlines
Don't tell me the flight is going to cost £20, when you and I both know I will end up paying £200. Just do not do that. That is incredibly dishonest.
Ticket = £200
£20 ticket + £20 pick your seat + £20 luggage + £20 using the airport + £20 breathing + ... = £200
See, I would much rather just pay upfront £200. Because it is HONEST.

It is a little bit annoying how restaurants have picked up on this too. You buy a main at the same price as anywhere else, but oh, what is this? It comes on its own. Now you have to buy sauce, chips, veggies and doubling the price.

You big important business people out there. I know I am asking a lot, but can you please stop lying to me?

Very politically incorrect comeback.

I got so embarrassed when I checked my blog just now. Only two posts this year. Not even fun ones. Just uni ones. And the previous ones are super bitter ones. It is funny because, for anyone that actually knows me, I am always this super enthusiastic and happy person. Maybe this is a healthy expression of bitterness. I don't know. Besides, reading something super happy comes across either fake or like you are rubbing your general awesomeness in their face. So this is really for you, unhappy person, that wants to smirk over my less fortunate moments in life or agree with me on things that annoy me. Anyway, I figured now would be as good time as any to post, as I have about 10,000 words to write and I would like to procrastinate that as much as possible. Plus, I have got a couple of bitter things to write about. Yay.

Number one bitter thing to write about.

As this blog is in my name, my personal and professional reputation is on the line, I can not express bitter thing number one in the full detail it deserves. All I will say is that it has recently been brought to my attention that criminals operate in this city. Very bad criminals that steal things from you. Things like your money and your time and your privacy and your mental health.

Number two bitter thing to write about.

I have got a few assignments I have to hand in as a part of my university course. I know that is a part of my course and I am completely happy to do what ever is required. No problemo. However, it is absolutely, utterly and completely beyond my understanding why on earth I am required to hand in my coursework in print. Why? I am not sure they are aware, but out there in the big world, something happened. Something big. Something that revolutionised the every day life of not just you and me, but everyone you know and basically everyone that lives on this planet (excluding, bless 'em, the little ones that can't get food and water and stuff. I am not trying to offend them. I pay monthly to Unicef so I can tell myself I am doing my bit.). It is called the Internet. It is pretty good. You can get jobs, houses and even the love of your life there. You can also play music, talk to your mum, stalk your ex, illegally download movies, learn how to braid your hair and even watch sex (they have a word for that now, it is called porn). Great fun.

Reasons why I do not like handing coursework in, in print:

1) Getting there.

As anyone who has ever even stepped inside London, even for just a moment, can confirm 'dropping by' is not possible. No señor. No such thing. Anywhere you go takes a minimum, an absolute minimum, of half an hour. Each way. That's good. If you are not from London, trust me, that is really good. We even brag about it. 'I live so close, it only takes half an hour to get there'. Therefore, dropping off your coursework will take at least one hour. If you are the lucky one that lives close by. And if you run there and throw the paper at the reception guy and your bus comes straight away. Odds are though it will take more like two hours. Two hours. To give someone a piece of paper.

In my days I have sent a lot of emails. It is magical. You can send as many (virtual) pieces of paper as you wish, to anywhere in the world, in seconds. I do not lie sir, seconds I tell you. Well, anywhere in the world apart from my university

2) Construction

I have to hand in my coursework in a building that is currently under construction. The main entrance is closed. To get in, and I am not lying, you have to walk for about three minutes outside to an entrance on a completely different building. You enter and have to find your way through about seven buildings, up and down stairs, through narrow hallways, in the dark, cross rivers - hoping Jesus will be your Shepherd and guide you the right way (I will go to hell for this). Okay. There are lights and signs, but in all seriousness it probably takes about 20 minutes to walk in and out of the building.

Bare in mind this is on top of the 2 hours we already discussed.

3) Printing

I do not have a printer so I have to spend even more time on this. I have to find an available uni computer. Log in on the stupid uni PCs that can't even read my Mac produced coursework so I have to pdf it first. So if I notice a typo or mistake, I just have to enjoy handing in a flawed essay, as I can't change it anyway. There goes my first. Plus logging in takes for ever. Oh, and I have to pay for it.

Another half an hour. This handing in a piece of paper thing is turning into an afternoon of butterflies and unicorns dancing in the sunshine with rainbows and a choir of angels. A whole afternoon.

4) Guys

I swear, everytime I have to hand in coursework, never when I am just attending lectures or in general around campus, only when I hand in coursework this most random dude tries to chat me up (not the same one fortunately. That would be a stalker. I don't have a stalker. Anymore.). I would not mind if it was a random dude that was super attractive and charming. No. Not it. A random dude in a weird way that finds an opening in the fact that I have an essay in my hand and am clearly on the way to hand it in. 'Hallo', 'oh, are you handing in stuff?', 'oh, so you go here?', 'what course do you do?', 'where is the faculty office?'. Guess what braniac, there are about 25,000 students at this campus and it is coming up to May. There is a lot of coursework-handing-in to do, by a lot of people, that probably go here. Hence the piece of coursework in my hand. On campus. On the way to the faculty office.

To be honest I used to admire their courage but now they just really annoy me as it puts me in this most awkward position. You don't want to just give out your number to some random guys (for the sake of shutting them up, trust me, works like a charm, every single time. Downside, they call you right away of the goodness of their heart 'as now you've got my number as well') but it is so uncomfortable blowing them off and it makes me feel bad (I do have a soul). I think I've just secured that any guy, that ever reads this, will not ask me out. Ever. Oh, well. There are always the illeterate ones.

*****FIXED****** Having said that, I wish the guy that came up to me just now (I'm at the library, 'studying') with the high school style 'my friend wants to know if you are single?' had read this. Is it too much to ask, for guys just to have some game? Or, since you asked, some looks.

Alright. Come back blog post. I have managed to ensure no one will ever ask me out, insulted the less fortunate, used 'mum' and 'porn' in the same sentence as well as guaranteed I will never see the great heavens I hear are so lovely. Someone better enjoy this.

moving!

hey guys,

I have always had this site for my own personal use - I know I'm not that regular here but I'd still rather keep it that way.

My university posts will be far less exciting but more regular. If you are interested follow me on tumblr:

My tumblr

There, I'd mostly be writing about my research project which has to do with film production with maybe a hint of the event we are setting up as Cherrybomb proudction. Feel free to read and bore yourself to death.

xx

Reason

I finally have a reason to post stuff here - university.

My university is finally and for the first ever time starting to be busy and providing me with a challenge. Which is great, five grand and eighteen months later. However, at the moment, my job keeps me very busy and provides me with a challenge as well. It is becoming difficult to stay on top off everything.

One of my lecturers, suggested that we all would keep a diary to stay on top of ideas, processes and so forth. She highly recommended doing it online as you get comments and feedbacks online. I figured, why not? So now, for school purposes I will post every week, inspirations, ideas, processes, etc. - particularly on my research project I will be doing at uni. If it doesn't turn out to be confidential information I might share some, or even all of it, here at the end of term. Comments, suggestions, ideas are not only welcomed but much appreciated, from anyone that might randomly read this.

I am thinking about doing it on film or music, either one. There are two things to bear in mind, how accessible is the data I will use (mainly people to interview) and how much theory there is on the subject. I thought music would be well easy, specially as in I have been hanging out with some different bands or people in bands or some music related people, since I was about 14. Then again I think I'd rather do it on film, and it turned out I might be able to pull out of the bag some network in that regards as well. Look at me, all having connections and s**t. Now I just need a trip to the library, to check this whole theory bit.

Next bit is I have to create a problem, argue it in the essay and then provide a solution. Easy.

Alright, now I have to post again next week the latest, or the next time I've got news on the project - it keeps me accountable. Very important.

Till then, ta